GregoryCooper's Blog

thoughts from a Christ follower

Mixed Emotions

Today was a tough one, one of the hardest I have ever faced.  It was a strange day of emotional highs and lows.  This morning, as I do most Sundays, I called a dear friend – my grandma.  Every week before my final prep time to share God’s Word, I talk with her to gain clarity and confidence.  We would talk about daily life stuff and then talk about what I would be preaching that day.  Her comment, always the same,  “I have already prayed for you and Kevin today…that God would use you as you minister to others”.  In that phone call God would assure me of His care and comfort any anxiety that was within me.  He always used  grandma, one of His most dear and faithful saints, to assure me His faithfulness and to fill me with encouragement.

Today was a little different because Grandma didn’t feel good, but yet as always, she was concerned with others more than herself.   I was encouraged, as I always was after our talks…by her faithful example and by her love – even though she didn’t feel good she still took time to talk with me.  Today she felt bad that she couldn’t go to church but she wanted to make sure her offering would get there.   Our call ended with promises of prayer, well wishes, and I love yous.  Although it felt good to hear her voice, I went into the service with mixed emotions – assurance that God would be with me, just as she had asked, but also with concern as to how she would feel and how her day would go.

Our worship was sweet and I felt as if God used me as I shared His Word to connect the congregation with His truth.  As the service closed I prayed for the lost and broken hearted, asking God to supply each need.  I challenged the crowd to look to Him to fulfill their every need and to trust Him to answer their prayers.  It felt good to be used by God and I think grandma would have been proud as to how He answered her prayers once again.  After saying goodbye to everyone, I rode home with my daughter.  I was happy to spend time with her and watch as she enjoyed driving.  I giggled to myself as she wanted to turn left in front of all the traffic as soon as the light turned to green, instead of waiting her turn.  But then my joy turned to sorrow as I called to check on grandma, she didn’t answer but her daughter, my aunt did.  I soon began to cry as I heard the words I had never anticipated when making the call, she is gone.

Grandma was concerned and bothered that she didn’t feel well enough to go to church, but I can only imagine the joy she experienced as she was welcomed to the greatest worship service she ever attended as she was received by her Savior.  Although I am happy for her, I am very sad that I won’t be making that Sunday morning call anymore.  Emotions have been difficult and mixed throughout the day…grief, loss, overwhelming sadness – comfort, hope, and sustaining love.  Our great God and Savior has used the people He has given me, my wonderful family and friends, to love me and to supply just what has been needed.  Although I am sad tonight at grandma’s departure, I am joyous at her arrival -tonight she is enjoying the glorious presence of the Savior in the home He has prepared for her.  While I realize that life will never be the same, I am not without hope…Grandma is truly in a better place, and one day I will join her there.

Thank you God for giving me a wonderful grandma and for taking her home to heaven to spend eternity with you.

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October 11, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

7 Comments »

  1. Greg,
    Thank You for your loving words of wisdom. I truely believe that Grandma heard your message of love today as you preached it. God is so great that he gave us a wonderful Christian grandmother who prayed for us all daily. I think God for you and all of the love and family that he has given to us. I am truely blessed.I didn’t know this story but rest assured that on Sunday mornings I will be praying for you.

    Comment by Valerie McGreal | October 11, 2010 | Reply

  2. Thank you for sharing such intimate parts of your life with all of us. You show yourself to be real, and that is how God best uses you. A lot of prayers are going up for you today.

    Comment by Linda | October 11, 2010 | Reply

  3. Aunt Lola, whom has been friends to many but a best friend and sister to one! Side by side, page by page , house next to house, sharing every sigle moment of their lives to the end! God has called her home to be with him and Uncle Joe and her parents! Peace with you ! Xoxo

    Comment by Beverly | October 11, 2010 | Reply

  4. Greg, I prayed for you yesterday as service was starting. In your voice as we talked for just a moment I got the feeling that you were somewhere else.

    I thank God that he uses you to speek to me and everyone else at Brightsdie. Even though Grandma is now with our beloved Lord, she will always be with you. We love you

    Comment by Kay | October 11, 2010 | Reply

  5. Dear Greg,
    Feeling the bittersweet emotion of saying ‘good-bye for now’ and the anticipation of a wonderful reunion . . . Anna and I send our love and prayers.
    Roy

    Comment by Roy Hendrickson | October 11, 2010 | Reply

  6. We can only hope we have someone in our life like you had. for me it was my mom. Prayers and gods love to all.

    Comment by Diana Guilfoyle | October 11, 2010 | Reply

  7. We are so sorry to hear of your loss, but heaven’s gain. I certainly know the mixed feelings of the deep sadness of our loss mixed with the joy a loved one’s homecoming. I also know of the amazing blessing of the friendship of one’s grandma. Mine was my best friend and even though she has been in heaven since 1991, I assure you her presence is never gone from me and her love and guidance from example as a Christian is always there for me ~ as yours will be for you. I am sure of how proud she must have been of you and I only wish mine could have seen me grow much closer to the Lord over the years since her passing. I was sorry to miss your message yesterday but am down with the flu and didn’t want to spread it to anyone. I am sure it was amazing, as always, and that even though you won’t speak earthly words with your grandma before the coming services, you will feel her with you. With love and prayers to you and your family…Pam and Don

    Comment by Pamela Laster | October 11, 2010 | Reply


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